The September Sadness

“I love the summer where our home is filled with his noise, laughter and chatter. Our very own, special brand of chaos.”

Every year as the light changes, as the warmth on my skin slowly starts to fade with my tan, my heart sinks. The leaves begin to turn from a thousand shades of vivid green to gold and crispy brown, and a heaviness sets in. Back to school. Back to 6am alarms and routine after slow mornings and cuddles on the sofa. Back to shoes after a summer mostly barefoot. Back to waving my small person off at the school gate before a day apart. It doesn’t seem to be the cool thing to say but I love hanging out with my little. My mini muse. I love the summer where our home is filled with his noise, laughter and chatter. Our very own, special brand of chaos.

This year, the heaviness feels more pronounced. A final year of primary school which in itself carries the dual joy and ache of watching your baby grow up. The end of last year was tough as I watched him fly through school and stumble under the weight of unkindness from others. The summer brought peace, and distance, and the chance to place down what he had been carrying. The return of my carefree sunshine child.

So as we step into another September, another autumn, another school year, I will gently mourn the long warm summer days and I will hope for a smoother year. I will soak up these final summer days, before beaches and ice cream step aside to make room for spiced hot chocolate and toasted marshmallows.